"If my life is broken for Jesus, it is because the pieces will feed a multitude while a loaf will satisfy only a small lad"- Elisabeth Elliot
"Every act of our lives strikes some chord that will vibrate into eternity"- Rick Warren
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Saturday, November 15, 2003
Lifesong
I can't help but feel bitter sweet about lifesong tonight. We've all worked so hard to get everything right in hopes that we've created a worthy ministry for God's miracle to shine down upon us. Drama team spent countless hours in lecture halls all over Waterloo campus to the wee hours of 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am, and even 6am the night before lifesong, rehearsing and revising the script to make sure that it was perfect. I'll admit, there were many time where I felt "How can I handle all of this?" I had midterms, papers, my Thesis ... and the worries just kept piling on top. Although many times I felt a sense of failure and hopelessness, I bent my head in prayer and watched as God washed away all my pain and sorrows. Lifesong was going to reach out to the many curious and lost - how could I not feel a sense of joy in being part of that? I looked past my exhaustion and tiredness and lifted it all up to God
Words cannot express how lifesong went, it was truly God's work through all of us that made it so successful. Despite all our imperfections, everything ran as God had intended it. I could almost hear God whispering "Through all of you, you shall do My wonders". Now that it's over, I feel slightly sad, I'm really going to miss working with the drama team. We spent so much time together walled up in lecture halls practicing that it almost felt like we were family. We laughed and struggled with each other the whole way through. I had an opportunity to get to know these people better ... most of whom I only knew before by name or association. These strangers at first eventually became known to me as people with depth, warmth, and a wonderful passion for God. If I take nothing else away from lifesong, I will always cherish the memory of working with these people for years to come.
For a moment during lifesong, I felt like I was carried away to another place, another world even. I literally felt like I was standing on the precipice of peace. The picture above that I took many years ago at Jackson's Point reminds me what that this other world felt like. That's how I knew that God was with us during Lifesong.
posted by Clint at 3:45:00 AM
Monday, November 10, 2003
Contentment
*sigh*, it only takes one to make me feel right as rain. It's one of the best NON-alcoholic spritzers that France has produced.
posted by Clint at 8:53:00 PM
Etiquette
Do you sometimes look at a guy and girl in public and just assume that the two of them were in a relationship? I'm sure you have at least once or twice. Have you ever seen the guy treat the girl badly (not severely) with things like:
- walking 2 or 3 feet in front of her
- not opening the door for her
- watching the girl pay the bill
And you're thinking to yourself, "That girl could be treated a LOT better?
BUT ... what if they weren't dating? What if they were only friends or cousins? Would that change your perspective? And so this leads into my humorous reflection on a very funny social trend.
I hang out with my cousin a lot and she's of course a girl. Since we're cousins, I can't give an objective opinion of her appearance but I can say that, at the minimum, she is not considered unattractive. ANYways ... I swear, everytime we hang out, whether at the mall or eating at a resturant, I can feel the glares of everybody looking at us, looking at ME specifically and wondering why I'm not opening the door for her ... or walking behind her instead of in front of her etc etc. OR I notice that when she walks through the door and everybody is gawking at her, and then they revert their eyes on me ... the funniest look is displayed on their faces - like I can hear them think "now WHAT is an attractive looking girl doing with an ugly guy like THAT???" ... You have to understand, we're really tight cousins and so we act like family around each other that others can easily interpret us as being in a relationship.
*sigh* I tell you folks, everytime I feel like I'm in that environment of people, I just want to yell out "We're NOT dating ... we're cousins" though I'm sure that last part would probably exacerbate the situation. K, scrap the cousins part, just leave it at we're not dating ;). So the moral boys and girls? I'm not dating my cousin ... LOL
Cheers!
posted by Clint at 8:36:00 PM
Friday, November 07, 2003
Candidness
One of the biggest lessons that God taught me when I became a Christian was realizing that whenever I had wronged someone, regardless of severity, I cannot keep doing the things that I do, thinking that if my actions did offend anybody - they would tell me. Remembering myself before I became a Christian and when I was more abrasive with others because I never thought about the consequences of my words or actions, I never had the luxary of somebody telling me if I offended them or not. I use the word 'luxary' because it really is one to have somebody be upfront with you in saying that they were offended by you - that way you wouldn't have to put effort in thinking about it.
So how did I get by? God taught me to be more empathetic. If I had said something or done something wrong, the other person's reactions (mood, state, facial expressions) would say it all for me - they wouldn't need to tell me straight out. Realizing that the damage had already been done - apologizing in words afterwards becomes worthless, just like faith based on words without deeds is meaningless. If I really respected and valued that person's friendship, I OWED it to them to apologize by never saying or doing, whatever offended them, ever again. To do otherwise, I would think it only ignorant of me. Usually, most people would start acting differenly towards you after you've offended them, but can you blame them? No ... it was your mistake and that was your consequence. I accepted the fact that if overtime I could show that person that I've become more sensitive to the things I say or do around them, perhaps things will get better - but it is their decision. Do I have reasons to be upset with them if they are upset at me because I offended them? Some people think so, and THAT doesn't make sense to me under the conditions stated above. In anycase, I don't see it that way.
So I guess there are people out there who might see me as cold, heartless, "testy", insensitive and maybe even a bastard ... but for the most part I wonder if they have ever thought it's because they had offended me first. As a Christian I know I'm called to be loving and forgiving - I realize this everyday and I try as hard as I can. I'm thankful that God knows how hard it is and He sees my effort in trying and does not condemn me for not being able to do it instantaneously and with everybody. So why do I hesitate to confront these people with my issues against them? Simply because some of them will never learn that way. *Is it because I'm bitter that I didn't get that luxary growing up as a Christian?* Absolutely not! I think people really do need to learn to be more empathetic, only because I feel that one day their lack of it will result in something far worse than a "cold shoulder" for example. Insensitive? perhaps, but I'll confront people with my issues against them ONLY if I feel that it would be beneficial to them. Otherwise it only gives them another excuse to walk all over you thinking that everything is okay because you don't tell that that it's anything but.
posted by Clint at 2:46:00 PM
Ambivalence
If I were honest to myself, it's starting to hurt. Sometimes moments come where it would have been good to just say something... but there are more reasons to refrain. I do wish I could talk to more people about it, but I'm thankful that there are 2 already. I think about it all the time, sometimes I laugh or smile about it, other times I just seem worried about it ... the rest I just try my best to not think about it. However, I have faith that things will always work out the way God intended, and who am I to argue His intentions - they have always been for my best.
posted by Clint at 2:10:00 AM
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
EGM Month[November 6] - PS260 Midterm
[November 14] - Thesis draft due 2:30pm; EC360 Midterm - 2:30pm, Lifesong - 6pm
[November 17] - RE250 Midterm - 4pm, Thesis Presentation - 6pm
[November 20] - Pericopae Paper and Presentation
[November 24] - Thesis Master Copy Due
Christmas is kind of looking good right now
posted by Clint at 6:04:00 PM
Monday, November 03, 2003
Induction
After thinking about it for a while, I decided to start up a brand new blog. I hosted one a very long time ago that i didn't want public because I wasn't writing it for an audience but it was just for my benefit. I gave it up after awhile because I felt that my pen and paper spiritual journal would suit me better. By starting this new one, I guess I'm allowing myself to be more open with others who are interested in reading my words and how i think about things. Some posts will be serious, maybe my troubles, others will probably be my practice at humour and wit, but regardless it's all personal to me (or else I wouldn't bother writing it down). Mainly I would like to share my thoughts on passages or any revelations of wisdom that God might inspire me with. We'll see how this second time turns out. No definates, No limits, No expectations ...
posted by Clint at 1:36:00 PM
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